Productivity and my misconceptions

Growing up, I’ve always been the type of person who was interested in just about everything. I list my drive to always be learning as one of my most favorable attributes. I love to experience things, whether they be simple ( a new game to play ) to the extreme ( learning to fly a plane ) to the somewhat eccentric and esoteric ( falconry ). Mix that in a bowl with a combination of a beautiful girlfriend, my close group of friends, my love of video games, reading fiction and watching television. It all points to the most obvious fact that I have alot of crap to do and not alot of time to do it in.

This leads me into my topic; how does one measure productivity?

For some this may simply be defined as staying busy. Of course, then you’d have to define busy because I believe most people would be in agreement that watching television is not what one could call ‘busy’ or productive. Then again, you could just define busy as not being bored but that still doesn’t grasp the concept. Another train of thought would suggest that productivity is measured by the result of what you produce through your efforts. But then how does one actually measure certain insubstantial things such as keeping relationships running smoothly? Because that is most certainly what I would call being productive. Hard to measure tho, no?

Still others may argue that productivity is simply measured by a feeling of self – after all, being productive is certainly a feeling that one may experience and this would be the argument I would have to be the most inclined to agree with. Sort of a ‘Beauty is in the eye of beholder’ mantra.

Why then, after a full day of work, an hour of studying guitar, reading my fiction, playing a video game, spending time with my girlfriend and taking care of my dogs do I still feel unproductive?

Is it because I did not produce anything from my efforts? Because I hold myself to higher standards? Because I feel, when I browse the internet and see the works that others have produced, I feel insignificant in the grand scheme?

Again, it’s the last statement that I feel is the most important to me. I usually pop open my laptop while I’m watching TV or a movie and take the time to browse, catch up with my social networking, blog here, studying some design and brainstorm for new ideas. It’s while I’m browsing the web that I start to feel less unproductive, page by page, as I view the works of artists, designers, programmers, writers and the like. It’s when I’m seeing the fruit of their labor that I feel that I have not taken full advantage of the six or so hours I have when I get home to better myself and to produce my own world on the internet for others to share and contribute to.

That is the scariest part of this whole monologue – the fear of not being able to balance my life ( dogs, work, girlfriend, friends ) versus the feeling of productiveness. It gives a glossy coat of evil and seduction to the idea of being more productive, as if it were something that I shouldn’t be doing, that is wrong if I spend my time working towards as it takes me away from the more narcissistic goal of improving me. I think it’s something I’m going to have to struggle with for a very long time.

So I ask – how do you measure your productiveness by? What measures and balances do use to make sure that your goals, albeit selfish in nature, balance with those goals that concern the lives that you are intermingled with?